Planning to visit someone who just had a baby? Here's what you need to know to be the absolute best visitor they've ever had.
1--Don't expect to see the baby in the first week or two. Wait for an actual invite.
As excited as they are for everyone to see the baby, they also need a little time and space to recover.
Please, please, please! Breastfeeding mamas are especially hungry and meal preparation is difficult with a newborn. Feeding the family is one of the most helpful and loving things you can do.
3--Wash your hands as soon as you arrive.
4--Ask the parents how you can help.
If possible, make a specific suggestion. "Do you need anything from the store?" "Can I empty your dishwasher?" "Can I take your other child/ren to the park or on a playdate?"
5--Keep it SHORT. About an hour to an hour and a half, depending on the situation.
Remember most new parents are sleep deprived and particularly vulnerable. So, keep your opinions and any contradictory parenting advice to yourself. Offer encouragement and support.
Most first time dads have never taken care of a newborn. Thankfully, you don't need experience--you need a willingness to learn.
*Start with your partner!
While she's recovering from pregnancy, birth and learning to breastfeed, someone else needs to handle all the tasks she used to do. It doesn't matter whether it's you, family, friends or a Postpartum Doula....What matters is that she isn't stressed about it! The more she can rest now, the faster she will recover.
Offer support and encouragement. Remember, it's new to her, too! Navigating the dramatic hormonal shifts and physical demands is more challenging in the first few weeks.
Anticipate her needs. Offer food, make sure she always has a drink, do everything you can to help her get as much rest as possible. If you're not sure how to help, ask her!
*Get to know your baby!
Bond with your baby: Make eye contact, talk, hold, and have as much skin to skin contact as possible. Offer your pinkie finger to suck on (newborns prefer fingers to pacifiers--and it doesn't create nipple confusion, which can complicate breastfeeding.)
Be patient. Remember that your baby is going through a huge transition and is still learning how to function outside the womb. The calmer you are, the calmer your baby will be.
Wear your baby. There are many different styles of carriers--you can find one that works for you both. Click here for babywearing basics.
The sooner you start building a relationship with your baby, the easier it is!
Have questions? Feel free to contact me--I'm happy to answer your questions.
Postpartum Doula, Breastfeeding Counselor, Mother of Three.